I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
