Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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