we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
