Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
