IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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