I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
