dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
