This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
