between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
