just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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