I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
