I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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