Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
