Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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