I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
