Your tits are I can't wait for
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
