Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I enjoy the company of your penis
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