hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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