Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
