To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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