I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
