officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
