you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
