You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
