I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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