i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
