He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can you bring me the toilet please
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
