wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
