You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
