The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
