His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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