Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
