can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
