i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
