There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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