Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
