I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
