I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just want nice things and good sex
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to calm my uterus...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
