When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
