That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
