Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
