I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
