I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
