her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
