The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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