i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
