i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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