I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
vagina is talking i cant
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
