i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
