and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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